Okay, kid, this is where it gets complicated...

It’s so difficult to seem interested in everything when I honestly have no idea what’s going on. I think certain things need to be explained to me in a more efficient, preschool way so I can actually take in the information and give myself time to let it all soak in. I don’t know how to explain myself, but I feel like I’m having such a hard time in school right now because while I am doing much better compared to the way I used to be, none of my teachers understand that, and they all assume that everyone should be at the same level. And most of these people have been at the same level since sixth grade, and I just never grew up with them. And I’m slowly merging into their path of being able to get things done and actually learn things. I don’t have a learning disability or anything, but information just DOESN’T process the same way with me as it does with everyone else. And I know that there’s a whole theory about how that statement is true for anyone (Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences), but it just seems like everyone just fucking GETS IT. So why did it take me so damn long? I don’t think I’ll ever get it. I can’t have intelligent conversations about worldly topics (i.e. what’s going on in Libya) because no matter how hard I try to understand what’s going on, there’s always someone who knows it much better than I do (because either they have been paying attention longer or because they just can pick up information faster), and/or things are ALWAYS changing and I just DON’T know how to keep up. It sounds pathetic, but I’ve always been really bad at doing those social studies tests where you have to read articles about a certain debatable topic and then use the sources to argue whatever your stance is - I’ve never been able to do those efficiently. I just feel like I don’t know enough about the topic to even have an opinion about it. That’s how I feel about so many things! I just DON’T have opinions on certain things that I should. And reading a simple article about each sides of the arguments just isn’t enough for me. This makes absolutely no sense to anyone and I’m sorry that you read it. I’m just thinking that my thought process and patterns just don’t make sense at all. I really don’t get how people can listen to the things I have to say and follow it perfectly.